What a waste…

I took Friday and Monday as vacation days thinking with such a nice long weekend I’d be home getting all kinds of things done.

That didn’t happen.

I did not finish going through all the boxes of crap around this house of which I planned to sort into clear plastic totes while at the same time trashing so much and separating more into different bags for different charities.

I did not clean the kitchen, bathrooms, bedroom, living room … any room.

I did not get my son’s homecoming room put together.

I did not go for a bike ride.

I did not walk my dogs.

I did not even take a shower (until today, but then I had to go around forever with out a bra to wear because all seven of mine were in the washer, which I started before I stepped into the shower) dammit.

Instead…

I drank too much coffee (most of it was decaf).

Got us some of those fabulous cupcakes like we had at the wedding ( and then lived off those for two days because how could I eat anything else when I was being so bad eating all these cupcakes).

Watched some movies on Showtime (which we got free for one year with no obligation and you know I’m cancelling once that year is up).

Sat and stared … a lot.

Visited with E (who does more in one hour than I do in a week).

Watched the kids play in the alley … often.

Took a lot of otc pain meds (because my arthritis hurts) dammit.

Slept for many hours (because the sleep was not good because of the pain my arthritis has been causing me lately).

Discovered my boss called me (but I missed the call because I left my cell phone in the bathroom because I had taken it with me to the bathroom so I wouldn’t miss it if my boss called me).

Played with my dogs. 

Loved on the cat. 

Put some anti-flea stuff on each of them (because it is that time of the month, ah ha ha).

Surfed the net.

Today I did take that shower and I am doing laundry.

I don’t know that I’ll do anything else.

Tomorrow I have to go back to work. 

I already have a list of things to do at work that I wrote down last week in preparation for my return — so I wouldn’t forget, you know. 

I know what I’m doing.

I really do.

I’m just trying to hold it together.

I just don’t why it has become so difficult me to do so.

I sit and stare and feel powerless to even move.

Completely powerless.