I’ve commented about my views regarding abortion again and again all over the web, but I’m not sure I’ve ever written about it here. So here it is:
In my opinion if there weren’t a reason for abortion than the procedure would not even be possible. It didn’t matter whether those reasons were good, bad, right, or wrong. It was possible. So there was choice in matter. It was built right into a woman’s anatomy.
I did not choose abortion when I found myself pregnant a decade before I wanted to have a child, but I did give it heavy consideration. I knew I was only going to have one child in my marriage and I was straight with my Maker about that plan.
My Maker had the same power over my existence as I then had over my pregnancy. If my God could make such choices from any woman’s pregnancy than it only made sense to me that I would have the same options with my own. It all seemed pretty straight forward and logical to me.
I wasn’t ready. We’d only been married 9 months (10 when I knew for sure). We both had jobs, but barely above minimum wage and there was no health insurance between us.
I wanted to wait until after our 10th anniversary before even trying to get pregnant. I knew myself. I knew I still had plenty of maturing I needed to do before I became responsible for another human.
It was my (our) own fault. I got out of the habit of putting in my diaphragm every single night before getting into bed. I was lazy and we got preggars. Who’s fault was it? Not the unborn inside me.
I was not ready, but aborting that pregnancy would have been using abortion as a method for birth control. If I’d done everything I could to keep from becoming pregnant and it still happened I might have thought differently.
I was only going to have one child. Maybe this child was the one meant for me.
What if there already was a specific plan ahead for this baby? The one child I planned for was coming ten years earlier than my plan?
The reasons to carry on with the pregnancy outweighed those against.
But I had a choice! I got to decide.
I will not deny any other woman the right to that choice.
So recently ERIN had this post up on The Peevery.
Her OB-GYN had talked her out of getting her tubes tied — because something could happen and she might want more kids. She wrote:
I didn’t want to look like the cold-hearted bitch I am, so of course I said, "Fine, I’ll get another IUD instead of getting my tubes tied."
And the whole thing just flew all over me. She wasn’t the one being a bitch, the doctor was.
I was 23 when I had my son. During my first prenatal visit I told my doctor I wanted my tubes tied while I was on the table after delivery — he said no, that I’d have to wait until after my six week check up.
At that check up he told me I needed to wait a year!
Four months later my husband went to speak to him. Yup, I was refusing to have sex until after my tubes were tied.
My husband was asked by the doc if he wanted anymore children and he told the doc that this wasn’t about him. That I didn’t want more than the one.
I had my tubes tied before the week was out.
This doctor knew from my very first prenatal visit that I only wanted one child, but he thought he knew better. When he first told me that I’d have to wait until after my six week check up, I thought it was for medical reasons. When I brought it up at that check up he then tells me I need to wait at least a year because I might change my mind. I could already see that in one years time when I returned to him again he would have found some way to put it off of another year, or two, or five.
I was still a very young woman. How could l possibly know what I wanted in life?
He was controlling my right to even choose not to become pregnant.
Kinda like those other doctors and people that want to put an end to a woman’s legal right to choose abortion.
No woman should have to prove the conviction of her intentions a her husband and then convince him to get her a damn tubal ligation.
That was so humiliating to me.
Oh, one could argue that they are not the same. They are the same when one considers who is making the decision. Who has the control.
Who should have such control over one’s body?
That self and no other.
Me, myself, and I.
Or you, when it’s your body.
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