Now with less carbs…

Oh, it's not what you're thinking.

It's because of where I live — smack in the middle of Bluegrass Airport's arrival and departure routes. 

No, I don't live at the airport!  (Slly!)  My house is situated in the paths of so many of those routes (about 10 miles from the airport).

Lots of planes flying low over our house.

A plane could go down upon on our house.

Or go Donnie Darko on us.

And!

I've added a couple of new pages!  Food and Activity diaries…logs…whatever.

I'm thinking if I make these things out there — in front of God and everybody — then I'll do a better job of reaching my goals:

  • Becoming healthy and fit
  • Getting my house in order

We.  Shall.  (ALL!)  See.

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I have to finish my taxes this weekend.  Ach.  And then do my son’s, too.  He’s getting a refund and already has plans for the money, including paying off a couple of bills — way to go, Darling Son!

Yesterday I went to cut a knot out of Lily’s fur that I could not detangle or demat and I cut her, too.  I didn’t even know it.  I’m not even sure Lily did either because she didn’t wince, yelp, or pull away.  Now she pulls away when I go to re-apply neosporin.

Crap.

They pulled all the fluid from my band this week.  Turns out it has been over-filled for the past two years.  Yup.  Here I am getting more and more frustrated (because on some days I couldn’t even keep my breakfast dish of oatmeal down) and come to find out I wasn’t doing it wrong — I was too tight.

I was feeling like a total failure at keeping my bites of food small, chewing them into mush, and not eating too fast.  So many foods that I wanted and needed to eat would just come back up a few minutes later.  I was doing it right!  The band was wrong.

*sigh*

So I have to have an esophagogram on Monday to make sure the band hasn’t slipped or anything.  Then it has to rest for two months before we can start filling again.  It’s weird not have to worry about being able to keep down a salad anymore.  Now I have to be careful not to eat everything I’ve not been able to since I was banded.

Like the Sonic cheeseburger and onion rings I had for supper last night.  OMG!  I ate the whole thing.  I didn’t save any for later.  I was stuffed and miserable.

It was awful.

I don’t like being stuffed and miserable.  It was so not worth it.  Lapband or not?  Bye, bye cheeseburgers and onion rings.  Okay, maybe not the onion rings.  In moderation.  Maybe once a month?

Soon my weight will begin dropping again!  Exercising will become even more productive! I had been stalled for some time.  And I’ve gained 17 lbs back since I lost my job — but that was because of ALL THE ICE CREAM I’VE BEEN EATING.  It’s like I didn’t know ice cream even existed before I was laid off.  What a doof.

Yesterday was a gorgeous day.  I had some appointments, had lunch with hubby (fruit and yogurt!), and ran some errands.

After coming home from Sonic we took Harold outside for a romp while hubby attached some handles to our gates:

Isn’t Harold just awesome?

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…at the gym this morning who did her treadmill "2 minute cool down" walking backwards. 

Later, when I was doing some strength training, I spotted her at another machine so I just had to ask her what the benefit of walking backwards did for her.

She told me it was good for her lower back.  Then she told me I reminded her of her daughter.  Then she told about how Jesus will make everything right about this country again.  And on and on.

I wasn’t wearing my badge of religious persuasion (hey — I was just going to the gym!) but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.  I just did my usual polite nodding of the head without commitment.  It is the YMCA after all.  I know she meant well, you know. 

I don’t usually point out my being jewish unless someone else is being totally rude or has asked me specifically, and she was neither.  Just a sweet older lady carrying around a little green New Testament, which I did not even notice until I saw her later on a bike. 

Here are some doggie pictures to help you clear your mind:

 Mini working deliberately at de-squeaking a rhino:

Mini

 And Lily, just being her lovely self:

Lily

Oh, God, I love my dogs!

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I haven’t been in three weeks.  The first two weeks was all about the snow that I love and the chaos it causes upon the streets. 

I don’t drive in iffy road conditions — unless it is to get home.  And in that case?  You do not want to be the person in the car behind me.  Unless you are driving a tank and will just roll over me in my car…

I even avoid walking in well trafficed areas because I am afraid of the car that might miss some random piece of slick spot and come careening up on the sidewalk and into me.

I also have a huge fear of falling.  Recovering from a fall can totally ruin my day.

And the third week?   Because last weekend I did something really STOOPID, which hurt my back and kept me down most of last week.

But back to going to the gym…

I was nearly up to my goal of hour and a half when working out so I’m hoping I can jump right back into that because what I really want to do is workout … twice a day … six days a week.

Seriously.  Because remember?  I AM FAT. 

AND I’VE GAINED LIKE 11 POUNDS SINCE I LOST MY JOB. 

That would be 11 of the 73 pounds I’ve lost since 2007.  WTF?  There’s not supposed to be any going backwards.  Ugh Ughn.  Nope.

That first workout would be in the morning, between 8 and 10 am, after I’ve taken Darling Hubby work.  That morning workout results in far less problems with my arthritis, makes and keep me strong, and allows me the endurance I need to to regular physical activities.

Regular physical activities?

Oh, you know.  The simple every day activities that most people take for granted.  Like going up or down a couple of flights of stairs; walking the dog; taking a shower; doing laundry; cleaning up around the house; or grocery shopping.

Not going to the gym, at least three times a week, makes all of these things very tiring and painful.  I don’t like feeling tired or being in pain all the time.

Going to the gym at least three times a week also gives me tremendous mental and emotional strength. 

I know!  I take meds for those!  But the time I spend in the gym helps me just as equally.  The meds and the gym complement each other for a better overall me.

So.  My morning workout of at least three times a week is just for my overall general health.  The second workout in the afternoon (before I pick up my hubby from work) would be just like the one in the morning.  Identical.  Except for it would be aimed at losing weight — as would the additional three days a week and two workouts a day.

I’m not interested in spending 6 or 8 hours a day at they gym like those poor pholks on The Biggest Loser.  I really do have a life I need to be living.  Nor am I considering the gastric bypass procedure.

Plus!  Did you know most of those people gain all the weight back and then some?  Hey, I read it on the internet and heard it on the news.  I believe it, too.

Wanna know why?

Because almost everyone I know that had the gastric bypass procedure have gained back at least half their weight, all of it, or even more.  And going by what’s on the internet and news, it’s pretty much like that for most of those poor pholks.

All that suffering.  And it is suffering.  Working out that many hours a day.  Losing all that weight so quickly from the bypass procedure (basically starving for the first 6-9 months after, seriously).

Now I’ve not lost as much as they said I could with my lapband, but, I did lose weight and I had also stopped gaining weight.  And at the alarming weight I was starting to gain weight?  Well, hell I’d probably be at 400 pounds or more by now!

Though there are times when I would have loved the side benefit of the bypass — no more diabetes.

I still have my lapband.  My little pouch is not stretched out at all.  If I eat something too fast or too much, I will either lose it or be really uncomfortable while it funnels its way to my stomach.  Ach!

So why have I gained 11 pounds in the four months I’ve been unemployed?

Ice cream.  Cookies dunked in my coffee.  Lots of ice cream and cookies.  Nearly every day.  Crap, but that stuff is so good!

And so I’ve come to the conclusion that since I don’t have a job I should make becoming as healthy and fit as I can my number one priority.  It’s not like I don’t have the time.  It’s something I should be hard at work with and sincerely committed to.

Besides, I have all the tools and time I need available to me.  Right? 

Exactly.

And in two or three weeks I won’t even need to drive to the gym.  I’LL BE BACK ON MY BIKE AGAIN.

Woot!

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I got busy…

12/22/2009

…yesterday.

I WENT TO THE GYM!  I did 20 minutes on level fives (interval and random hill modes) on the treadmill and the bike, and then I did another 20 minutes in strength training. 

I have missed the gym so much.  My knees were really hurting and my energy levels have been in the toilet.  I approached the Y about a reduced rate while I’m un-employed and they totally helped me out.  Thanks, High Street YMCA!

Oh, I’m pretty sore after those workouts, but it’s productive sore, so I don’t even care. 

After the gym I went to the grocery to purchase the stuff I needed for some baking this week and then I made chili!

At 3:30 I had a massage.  My first one EVER.

I was hoping it would help me keep some soreness and charlie horses* at bay.  While the massage was awesome ("Thank you, may I have another?") that part of my plan didn’t work —- unless I would be even more sore and would have had scream (LOUDER) inducing charlie horses — if I’d forgone the massage.

*Every description I find regarding charlie horses only refers to those in the calf or thigh.  I get charlie horses everywhere all the time — feet, toes, SHINS, ankles, neck, back, arms, fingers — including the calves and thighs.  They increase in severity when ever I (re)begin a fitness regimen and then level back down to normal after I get used to exercising again.  I’ve had them all my life.

Yeah, sometimes it really sucks to be me.

I thought the ones in my shins were the worst until last night.  UPPER INNER THIGH CHARLIE HORSE!  I paced from the front and back of the house until it calmed down and I could go to bed (oh, yeah and I also took two muscle relaxers).  And I took the first one before I went to bed.  My doctor prescribed a muscle relaxer for me to take every night at bed time.  It doesn’t stop them, but it does lessen the severity and occurrence.

After supper E came over to share a new tea she found and to have some of my chili.  Her Bing Cherry, Almond, and Honey tea was yummy and she left me a few bags to enjoy on my own.

And today?  Today I’m staying home to bake and do some more stuff about the house.  Yeah, like I can even keep up with all of these:

lily print

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I don’t know what happened, only that it all went into the toilet.  I stopped keeping my food journal.  I didn’t weigh in.  And I didn’t take any pictures (okay, so I didn’t go to the gym either).

Tomorrow all of that changes.  I’m going back to my food journal, the gym, etc.

Why am I restarting a weight loss plan on Friday?  Because I weigh in on Mondays. 

I chose a Monday weigh in some time ago to help me with not pigging out on the weekends.  Hey, it works for me.

I’m giving up my fudge pops.  I know!  I know!  They’re only 80 calories and 4 grams fo protein — but when you’re eating a box a day all that doesn’t really matter…  That’s 12 fudge pops.  Twelve.  A day.

That shit’s got to stop.

I challenge all of my BlogapaLOSEa mates that may have also let things slide to do the same!

So here’s to tomorrow!

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Because while I do suffer from panic attacks, which are a part of this disorder, my big reason for being afraid of becoming an agoraphobic is my need to be home.  As much as possible. 

I don’t even like walking alone, which is part of why I am so upset about the problems I’ve been having with Lily and her own phobia of being afraid of everything that isn’t home.  O. M. G.  My poor dog has it soooooo bad.

And part of the reason I’ve not been to the gym in going on three weeks, I think.  I have to either let darling Hubby drop me off at the gym on his way to work and then walk home; or take him to work and then keep the car.  Did you know I hate driving?  Alone? 

I need to get to the gym.  I need to get back on my bike.  I’m better on my bike about being alone than walking or driving…

I’m going to take Lily on another walk today with her new harness.  And maybe her gentle leader collar, too.

P.S.  Yesterday I went to the doctor and my A1c was 5.1.  Yes, I know it’s almost always awesome like that.  My blood pressure was 110/88.  88?  That’s high for me.  Get this, my pulse was barely over 50 — and she said she could hardly perceive it to count it.  Does this make sense to anyone?  So now I have to have a complete physical next Thursday.  And when I say complete?  I mean with with a pap smear and everything.

Crapola.

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830 reasons!  And only 13 grams of protein?  WTF?  A cup of 2% milk has 8 grams of protein…

So after my "no cavities" dental appointment my darling husband was taking me back to work so he could keep the car, but I wanted some lunch!  I suggested a MooLatte from Dairy Queen. 

Now I know Dairy Queen isn’t your typical dieter’s place of choice, but I was only going to have a moolatte for lunch and I figured those puppies were somewhere between 300 and 500 calories.

Even when hubby ordered us the large size I didn’t think anything of it.  I just assumed we’d always gotten large ones before.

Wrong!  Once they passed those things through the window to him I knew we’d never had ones that big before!

They are so good.  Now I’ve only even had the mocha ones, but I’m gonna assume they’re all as equally good. 

Back at the office I fixed myself a bag of popcorn (120 calories, 8 protein grams) and hit the DQ website for the calorie and protein counts of the moolatte.  830 calories and only 13 grams of protein!

Shocked and appalled.

BlogapaLOSEaLooks like that was my very last moolatte for all time.  MooLattes are not good for me!  Nothing I drink should have that many calories alone. 

Too many moolattes in your diet will make you the size of the cows DQ gets their dairy products from. 

For me, even the occasional moolatte would only defeat my purpose of moving past this cow size…

MooooOOOOO! 

Now I must make a decision about work today, because I have a raging migraine and staring at this computer screen this morning is only making it worse…

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