I gain ground…

27 February 2012

…and then lose it again oh so quickly.

My list of tasks multiplies, but I feel doomed with meaningless and do little of nothing at all.

I've been in this corner for so long.  Longer than any span I can recall — even from my grimmest recollections of childhood.

Memories have (lately) been stirred relentlessly instead of just being allowed to simmer under a closed lid.  It was not intentional.  The queries that reopened old wounds came from the least likely source, but once revealed details were pried loose with one mining question after another.

I was still able to withhold more pain than I could have dispensed.

Because that is what we do, isn't it?

Isn't it?

  • http://www.tokenblogger.com ɯoɔ˙ɹǝƃƃolquǝʞoʇ

     Why is this old comment all the way up here?

  • Karan

    Sometimes those sorts of memories arise when we are better able to process them…mined or not.  And sometimes I think that the miner best be careful of what s/he is asking about because sometimes s/he deserves what comes up.

    • http://www.tokenblogger.com ɯoɔ˙ɹǝƃƃolquǝʞoʇ

      Oh, they do deserve what comes up.  Unfortunately, it most often gets turned around back to me — even though I was just a child…

  • http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/ Jayne

    Sounds serious.   I think it was Voltaire who said “Hell is other people.”   Whoever said it, they were right.  

    • http://www.tokenblogger.com ɯoɔ˙ɹǝƃƃolquǝʞoʇ

      So often for me, “hell is other people.”  I’m just not good around people. 

  • http://misplacedmisfit.com/ The Misfit

    I know I’ve said this at some point in the past, but I swear we were separated at birth.  I’ve been feeling way overwhelmed with things to do lately – especially with trying to decide what services to offer in my forthcoming business – and old wounds have been bursting forth from their scars unannounced and unwanted.

    We (the royal “we”) do try to protect other people from pain – internalize it and shove it down.  I can’t decide, though, if it’s human nature to do so or if it’s an anomaly and human nature is to shove our pain at other people in an effort to get rid of it.

    Either way, consider yourself good and virtually hugged!

    k

    • http://www.tokenblogger.com ɯoɔ˙ɹǝƃƃolquǝʞoʇ

       Thank you.

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